Daniel Von Fange

Life, Code, and Cool Stuff

Valentines Day Blues

“A coward dies a thousand deaths, A brave man only once.” I got the truth of that saying hammered into be today, as I was too scared to even say “hey” to girl I admire. The day was mostly spent in cycling from kicking myself for not saying anything, gathering some courage, and loosing it again. Not fun at all.

It’s odd. I’m not scared of welt-inducing paintballs. I’m not scared of leading a team of people. I’m not scared of quoting or doing a large programming job. I’m not normally scared of losing. But today I was scared of… really nothing, and ran away. Most of today was somewhere near a worst day-in-my-life, from the combination of fear and guilt-about-fear.

In order to never have a repeat of today, I’ve resolved to follow the John Wayne way, “Courage is being scared to death… and saddling up anyway” (And I’m posting my resolution publicly so I can’t back down later. ::grin:: )